Tidal Wave of Love

Our bus slowly came to a stop as it rolled down the dirt road leading to the school.  I sensed something overwhelming was about to happen as I saw the tidal wave of kids running full force down the road towards the front of the bus.  This was my second mission trip ever, yet my first time to Africa.  After months of fundraising and planning, the moment I anticipated was finally here.  Only, I could not have prepared for it. 

Prior to leaving Atlanta, I'd sat in meetings with the team of folks I was going on this mission trip with and we discussed our hopes, plans and anticipations of the mission while praying God's will be done.  A few of the folks had been on this same trip the prior year, and when they spoke of their experiences, they were literally brought to tears.  They shared how they could not put into words how the presence of God was so "thick" and overwhelming there.  Well, I was anxious to share that experience.

The bus stopped, the doors opened and we began to unload.  With over a hundred kids surrounding us, we got off the bus one by one only to be completely drenched in love.  I was last to get off the bus and step down into the place where my life would be forever changed.  As soon as my feet hit the ground, two beautiful little girls wrapped their arms around me so tightly saying "jambo" (hello) and smiling the most magnificent and enthusiastic smiles I'd ever seen, while dozens of more children grabbed hold to my hands, my arms and my waist.  That's when the tidal wave flooded my soul and out of nowhere, an unexpected surge of emotion rose up in me so strongly that it poured out of my eyes and down my cheeks.  I could hardly stand and was unable to speak, barely able to tread the love that was consuming me.  I was not strong enough to hold it together and had actually entertained the thought of embarrassment, but I heard the Lord say "This is what my love feels like - total acceptance."  So I surrendered as the tidal wave of love rushed over the top of my head so high that I almost drowned in it.  I was completely submerged.

Who was I to be worthy of this kind of love?  Who was I to be received with such a celebratory welcome?  If only they'd known of my past mistakes, would they still welcome me like this?  Would they still celebrate my coming?  Then I remembered in Luke 15:10 where Jesus tells the parable of the lost coin being celebrated once it is found.  Then He goes on to say "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."  This is what that rejoicing must be like.

Even when we don't feel worthy, the angels rejoice when we turn to God.  The angels rejoice when they see us coming.  They run to us, wrap their arms around us and say "welcome!".  Just as we step into the ocean’s shore and the wave pulls us in just before it rushes over us, we can also take a step in the direction of the Lord and be consumed by His tidal wave of love!

Love Always!

Shy

Changing Seasons

I sat in my car in the parking lot of the school while the hot sun beamed into my car scorching one side of my body.  As usual, my son's football practice was going over time, so I found myself deep in thought as I waited.  On one hand, I was feeling so grateful that I was finally feeling better after a year of health issues.  On the other hand, I was saddened by what was loss.  The simple pleasure of ordering anything I wanted off a restaurant menu had now become a fine science.  Loss.  The pitiful looks I received from friends who noticed my weight loss made me want to isolate.  Loss.  The friends that I could no longer go out to eat with, because I wasn't able to enjoy the places we used to go.  Loss.  Or the friends who simply disappeared, because I could no longer offer the favors they required or had gotten used to from me.  Loss.  So much had changed over the last year.  

As I started my car and drove around to the other side of the parking lot to reposition the sun from the side of my body to the back of the car, I said to myself, "Just a few more weeks until I start seeing signs of my favorite season, fall!"  That's when all the beautiful colors start to show up like God has sponge-painted earth's entire canvas. He gives us a beautiful show of magnificent color ranges in reds, yellows, oranges and burgundies.  The show reaches a plateau, then showers down leaves as we drive down the street watching the canvas come alive like a kaleidoscope.  Then, just like that, the curtain drops and there's a long intermission called winter as He prepares the next scene.

God has given us so many resemblances in life and nature.  And I no longer view my temporary seasons as permanent conditions.  I am more keenly aware of how the rain keeps things growing.  And how the fallen leaves make room for new blooms.  And no matter how long and cold winter seems, spring is still coming next.  Genesis 8:22 says, "As long as the earth endures, seed time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease."  Our lives sometimes have the same extremes as summer and winter.  

So as I sit in the hot sun, I look forward to the coolness that is to come.  As I reminisce on what is loss, I look forward to what is to bloom.  As I think of the suffering I've had to endure, I am excited by how much more the blessings will be appreciated.  So I enter into this next season in gratitude and expectancy of what is to come.

My son finally shows up to the car with an ice pack fastened around his knee.  Being a concerned mom, I ask what happened and if he's okay.  He smiles and says "I got tackled and fell onto my knee, but I'm fine.  It's just part of the game, Mom."  I smiled to myself and thought "I'm so glad he understands what comes along with the season."

Love Always!
Shy

Super Model

When I was a little girl, I wanted nothing more than to be a super model when I grew up.  I'd flip the pages of magazines thinking how wonderful it must be to wear the fancy clothes, have my make-up done by professionals and have my hairstylist do things with my hair that I could never accomplish on my own.  As I looked at many of the advertisements on the pages, it really didn't matter what product they were holding, smoking or riding in, it just all seemed so glamorous.  Whether it was Iman or Christie Brinkley, it was a life I most certainly wanted.  And don't even get me started on Diana Ross!  The Boss!  So my prayer was that one day I would grow up and be a super model just like them.

Fast forward 30 years (actually more, but that's not the point!), I'm now a single mom of a 24 year old daughter and a 16 year old son, working in corporate America and not feeling very "super" at much of anything, when just the other day the Lord decided to reveal my runway.  

I called my son downstairs for dinner and as he sat at the table, he said, "Thank you."  

I said, "You're welcome."  

He said, "Not for the dinner, but for how you raised me."

With a quizzical look on my face, I said, "Oh."

He said, "Something happened today between me and someone else and instead of writing them off, I forgave them.  They didn't even understand why I forgave them, but you taught me the power of love and forgiveness and that's what I want my life to be about."

I was blown away at the conversation.  Then, the very next day, my daughter called me about a disagreement she had experienced with a co-worker only to realize later that evening she was wrong.  She laughed about it to me and said, "I guess I just won't bring that topic up again now that I realize I was wrong."

I said, "Actually, you should bring it up again and apologize for your error..  That would demonstrate integrity."  After listening to me for a minute, she said "You're right, mom." and proceeded to text the person admitting her mistake and apologizing for it.  Later that evening, she called again and said "Thanks again, mom, for talking to me about integrity."

In Matthew 5:13-16, Jesus tells us we are the salt of the earth and the light of the world.  In verse 16 He says, "let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."

All this time, I hadn't seen anything super about my life and certainly didn't feel like a model, but God had given me the highest paying and most rewarding super model job ever - a role model.  He allowed my light to shine before my children as I modeled the wardrobe of love, forgiveness and integrity with God as my personal stylist.  Who knew my children had been watching the pages of my life turn?  Indeed, God had answered my prayer to be a super model after all.

So next time you feel not so super, remember that someone is watching your pages turn.  It might be a child, a spouse, a neighbor or a co-worker, so be mindful of what you're modeling and wear it well!

Love Always!

Shy