The Scar

"Is that a run in your pantyhose on your knee?" she asked with a quizzical look on her face.

Confused, I looked down at my knee to see what she was referring to.  Realizing it was the scar on my knee she was looking at, I replied, "Oh, no that's a scar I got from falling off a bike when I was a kid"

Fast forward 25 years, I've made it a point to only wear pants or dresses that come below the knee.  That incident made me super sensitive about my scar, so I've always hid it.  In my mind, if people saw my scar, they wouldn't see me - they'd only see my scar.  Plus, I'd be reminded of the fall.  Oddly, I'd only remember the "falling down" part, but not the "getting up" part.  Why is that?  Why do we remember the fall more than the getting up?  And why do we hide the scars after we've long since overcome the fall and gotten up?

There's a beautiful and talented chef by the name of Padma Lakshmi.  If you've heard of her, you may know about the 7" scar on her arm from a car accident she was in when she was 14.  Unlike me, she not only shows off her scar by wearing sleeveless dresses and short sleeve tops, but, at times, she actually puts glitter on it and wears it like an accessory!  Who does that to a scar?  Padma, that's who.  I was so impressed when I first saw her do this.  I was thinking, "You mean, you don't hide your scars?"  After all, I've spent years hiding scars.  Well, she's been quoted as saying, "It reminds me that I can survive my pain."  Wow!  She completely set me free with this!  Sounds like she's more focused on the "getting up" part. 

I'm not recommending you run out and share your story and worse scars with everyone, because I realize not everyone will be able to handle your story.  But, what I am saying is whether they are physical or emotional scars, it's not our falling down that should get the spotlight, "but thanks be to God who always causes us to triumph in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him"! (2 Cor. 2:14)  What an opportunity to spread the fragrance of the knowledge of Him when we bare our scars.  What an opportunity to show others that we are not our scars, but our scars are a sign that He has caused us to be triumphant!  

Scars...  We all have them.  We can choose to hide them or we can use them as an opportunity to give thanks to the one who caused us to triumph. So the next time you see me, don't be surprised if my scar baring knee is exposed.  Don't think it's because I'm being sassy.  It might just be my opportunity to share the fragrance of the knowledge of Him who caused me to triumph!

Love Always,

Shy

Who's at the door?

When I was a little girl, I had a book of bible stories with colorful pictures.  Many days, I would sit quietly and thumb through that book and look at the pictures.  There was one picture that stood out to me more than the others.  It was a picture of Jesus standing on the outside of a door knocking with the caption, "Behold, I stand at the door, and knock."  I would stare at that picture for a long time.  I must admit, my first thought was a little scary, like "Yikes! What in the world is Jesus doing at the door?"  

On the other hand, I was so intrigued at the possibility of Jesus standing at the door knocking that I would wonder what I would do if He was literally standing at my door.  Would I let Him in?  Would I feel unprepared for such an important guest?  Would I just get really quiet and hope He thinks I'm not home?  Why is He even here?  What does He want?  Should I open the door?  Would I get in trouble for opening the door?  Technically, He's not a stranger...  The questions were endless for my 7-year-old mind as I stared at this beautiful and powerful image.

Amazingly, many years later, I can still see that picture very vividly in my mind.  It has stuck with me over the years.  And the question of "what would I have to do to be prepared to open the door, should Jesus stop by?" has lingered in my mind.  Wow!  Huge, right?

The fact of the matter is, I don't have to do anything.  Jesus is not an inspector showing up with a clipboard.  He's not stopping by to grade my performance and give me a list of opportunities for improvement. The fact of the matter is, He's stopping by to comfort me when I am hurting (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).  He's stopping by to provide for me when I am in need (Luke 12:22-24).  He's stopping by to be a friend when I am lonely (John 15:13-15).  He's stopping by to give me peace when I am in the midst of a storm (John 14:27).  He's stopping by to love me in my most unlovable moments (1 John 4:16).

As impactful as that picture was as a child, I now understand as an adult how much of a gift it is to have Jesus find me important enough to stand at my door and knock.  He's not there to ask for anything, but to BE all that I need.  

Decades later, I now know what I would do if He were at my door, because I do it everyday...  I simply swing the door of my heart open and say "Come in!  I'm so glad you're here!"

Love Always,

Shy

The Whisper

I was tossing and turning at 3:00 a.m.  Was it the two sloppy joes I'd eaten the night before that had me awake?  Okay, it was three sloppy joes, but that's not the point.  I couldn't get comfortable, so I finally got up at 3:30 and went downstairs to sit in my "listening chair".  It's the chair I sit in to get quiet and close enough to God to hear a whisper.  When I walked into the room, I was reminded of Eli's advice to Samuel when he heard the voice of the Lord calling him (1 Samuel 3).  In verse 9, Eli tells Samuel "if he calls you, say 'speak Lord, for your servant is listening'".  It was at that moment when I knew it was more than a sloppy joe that had me awake.  This was intentional.

I knew this was a "lay my head in the lap of God and just listen" moment.  I knew this was a moment when His words would soothe my spirit, slow my racing thoughts and just whisper "I'm here".  Have you ever had one of those moments when you may not have even been able to make out the words, but you understood the message?  That moment when you knew you could just drop your end of the rope to just be.

Sometimes that's all God wants us to do - just be.  Be still.  Be quiet.  Be with Him.  Sometimes there's no grand revelation, "just being" with Him is enough.  Other times, answers come through peace.  Sometimes next steps come through being still.  Sometimes the message comes through silence.  But most importantly, the whisper in our spirits is best heard when we get close enough to hear it.  Shhhhh....  Lean into the whisper.

I reread 1 Samuel 3 and this time what really stood out to me in verse 10 was "the Lord came and stood there" the third time He called to Samuel.  What?  Like stood there?  When the Lord comes and stands there 1) He has a message for you and, 2) He's close enough for you to hear a whisper.  Listen!  

He's standing there because He has a message for you.  Don't worry about how He will speak.  He speaks to us in many different ways.  All we have to do is open our hearts, minds and spirits and say, "speak, for your servant is listening" and watch Him whisper in a way that your heart understands.  

Love Always,

Shy

#winning

There is a song by Jekalyn Carr called "You Will Win" that I absolutely love!  If you know this song, you are saying "yassss" right now.  So, there I was driving to work when that song came on the radio.  I immediately turned up the volume and went "all in".  If you can imagine the lady in the car next to you with a serious face, bobbing her head, making hand gestures and looking like she is explaining something really important to someone in a very dramatic way, then you can imagine me.  So when Jekalyn got to the verse that said "everything attached to me wins", I put my hand on my chest and sang it as if my declaration was the final say in winning!  (Sidebar: Person in car next to me slows down to let me pass, because they're not quite sure what is about to happen with the crazy lady.)

If you're like me and have been through enough trials in your life, including a few level 10's, you learn to not care what people think about how you run your race.  You also learn that you have to fight, chase down and declare your own victory.  So there I was, not only determined to win, but also determined that "everything attached to me" would win - my children, my vision, my purpose, etc.  I was declaring my way to a lot of #winning.

Ironically, the same day, I read Psalms 18:29 where David says to God, "With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall."  WhaTTT?!  David sounds crazy like me!  Advance against a troop?  Scale a wall?  David, let's do this!  Clearly, David understood three things: 1) the power God, 2) the power of being attached to God, and, 3) how everything attached to God wins!

My word to you today is simple - no matter how hard things may look, how tempting it may be to let go of what you know is right, or how challenged your faith might be in this very moment, Stay. Attached. To God. and you will win!

Love Always,

Shy

Let there be light!

And God saw the light was good and he separated the light from the darkness (Gen 1:4), so can someone please tell me why I was still in darkness?  The light was good, right?   Was I on the wrong side of the separation?  Yikes!

So there I was in life's darkness, roaming around aimlessly bumping into things.  One "OUCH!" after another.  I had a choice, but sometimes adults are more afraid of the light than children are of the dark.  Light requires relinquishing control and trusting God's plan.  Scary, right?  Anytime we go in the opposite direction of God's plan, we are actually going in the direction of fear - fear that things won't turn out the way we wish they would, fear that God might not hear our prayers, fear that God's plan might not be as amazing as ours.  Really?  Fear is definitely the monster under the bed!

During my time in darkness, I learned a few things...  

I learned that dark times will come, but God's light will separate the darkness and shine through the darkest dark (or as SpongeBob would say "advanced darkness").  

I learned that trusting God is like watching the sunrise over our midnight sky.  

I learned that when God's light shines through a dark situation, the stars in a country sky can't compare to the "ah-struck" peace we feel by His presence.  

I also learned that His light is the assurance that darkness has been overcome!

So when the situations in our lives are dark and confusing, remember that God has already separated light from darkness and one thing has remained the same over the years - His light is still good.  Take comfort in knowing that no matter how dark your night is, you can invite Him into your situation today and "let there be light!"  

"I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."  John 8:12

Love Always,

Shy

Just do it!

When the New Year rolled around, I did my usual assessment of my previous year's goals, then wrote my 2018 goals, but this year was different.  This year I had a written vision to line my goals up with.  

Back up!  

I finally recreated my vision board in 2017, but had never written my vision.  This was a first.  It was such an interesting process.  I was open and honest with myself in a way that surfaced things I'd either never acknowledged or just simply didn't see.  Frankly, this experience was simply eye opening, crystallizing what I really see for my life.  

Now fast forward!

Since the vision has now been written (...and made plain. Habakkuk 2:2), my actions and my words have become more intentional than ever before.  

I no longer take the side roads that don't line up with my vision.

I intentionally surround myself with environments and people that promote the vision.  

I spend more time with God in my quiet time in order to hear the right voice directing me.  (This is the way, walk in it. Isaiah 30:21)

Hearing God more clearly has brought me to my "Just do it!" season in life.  Mary (mother of Jesus) gave the best advice in John 2:5 when Jesus was about to turn water into wine at the wedding.  She told the servants "Whatever he tells you, do it".  Mary's words are still true!  Just do it!  It may not make sense.  It may look impossible.  You might even look crazy, but whatever He tells you, just do it!  Risk looking crazy!

Noah looked crazy building an ark, but he did it. (Genesis 6)  
David looked crazy fighting a giant, but he did it. (1 Samuel 17)
Simon (a fisherman) looked crazy taking a carpenter's advice on fishing, but he did it. (Luke 5)
...AND I was looking crazy trying to live on purpose without a vision, but I did it!  I wrote the vision!  (Habakkuk 2:2-3)

So get quiet, get clear and listen for His voice.  And no matter how crazy it may look, take Mary's advice - "Whatever he tells you, do it!"

Love Always,

Shy

Love Unfiltered

It was 10 degrees outside when I woke up and 56 degrees in my house.  I checked both the thermostats and adjusted the temperature, but the temperature in the house couldn't seem to get above 60.  I tried reprogramming the units.  I tried changing the batteries.  I even tried talking to the thermostats.  (Don't judge me!  I was desperate and cold!)

I put a small space heater in the bathroom so I could get dressed without chill bumps, then headed out to work.  Even though I was warm in my car and warm at work, all I could think about was how cold it would be when I got home.  So with only one thing on my mind, I left work early to head back home to troubleshoot the heating system again.

After getting home and putting on a fur coat (yes, inside the house!), I got my a/c guy on the phone and explained that I could feel a faint bit of heat coming out of the vents, but the house was not warming up.  He asked a simple question, "When was the last time you changed the filters?"  I paused knowing it had been on my "to do" list for a while, but never got "to done".  So I quickly ran out to Lowe's, purchased two new filters, came home and replaced them.  Within a few minutes, the temperature of the house was climbing one degree at a time.  Hallelujah!!!  It turns out the old filters clogged with pillows of dust were blocking the flow all along.

Fast forward a week later, I had an issue with someone whom I love dearly.  While thinking and praying about it, the issue with the filters came to mind.  I was thinking, "Really, Lord?  Can we just let a thing be a thing sometimes and not a metaphor?"  But, it was what it was...  The very issue that was driving me nuts with my loved one was an issue I would have easily loved a stranger through.  Why was it so much more disheartening with my loved one?  Why was it harder to love them through it?  Was it because my love filter had gotten clogged up with all the other muck over the past months from other issues with my loved one, whereas I would have loved a stranger from a brand new untouched love filter?  The more I sat in silence, the more I understood where this metaphor was going.  

Just as the Lord has loved me with unfailing love (Jeremiah 31:3), I was to let my love flow freely and unfailing to others.  No clogs.  No past muck.  Just unfailing love (1 Corinthians 13:8).  So I changed my love filter, lovingly addressed the issue, and changed the temperature of the entire relationship.  It not only freed them to receive the love, but it freed me to let love flow again.  So the next time you're having trouble loving someone, ask the simple question, "When was the last time you changed the filters?"

Love Always,

Shy